Being true to your mood
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This post was written by Angela
on June 29, 2011 | Comments (7)
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I never really bought into the “fake it til you make it” mentality when it came to happiness. Forcing a smile when I was grumpy felt like stroking the cat the wrong way and my reaction often paralleled the wrath of my tortie on a bad day. I didn’t like the idea of what felt like suppression of my true emotion in order to achieve an alternate frame of mind, though I do understand there is a science behind the concept. In fact, an increasing amount of evidence from research over the past few decades does show facial expressions can result in experiencing the correlating mood (whether positive or negative). But plastering a grin on my moody mug made me feel like I was walking in a world of Stepford wives, as though everyone around me was faking their happiness, too. From there, the dominoes would tumble and plain grumpiness would take a turn for depression.
Unfortunately, good intentions can go bad and what works for some may not be the ticket for others. I’ve gotten used to the fact that I tend to fall in that “others” category, but at least I’m not alone. Recently I read a tip in Whole Living magazine that confirmed my inner turmoil over this point. Under their action plan (tips for healthy change each day) June 29th simply states, “Stop Faking It.” They go on to say, “A recent study at Michigan State University found that faking smiles throughout the day can lead to bad moods and withdrawal… If you don’t feel like smiling, don’t.”
Does your fake smile
lead to a real smile?
Maybe forced smiling will bring a superficial sort of happiness or even a sincere happiness for some, but that doesn’t mean it will erase underlying negative emotions. I have come to treat my emotions like symptoms. If you break your leg, you can’t pretend it’s ok until it is. You would be in immense pain and the bones would likely heal incorrectly, leaving you with a lasting chronic condition. Similarly, instead of pulling up the bed sheets against my inner turmoil, I try to discover the underlying cause and work to understand and heal that instead.
Let yourself feel the emotions you are encountering. Explore them. When I take the time to recognize an emotion (often through discussion or journaling) rather than trying to suppress or avoid it, I am able to process that emotion and possibly even realize its hidden source. This leads to a more natural transition in letting go, which means I am one step closer to healing and feeling sincere happiness.
Have you ever tried to “fake it til you make it” to happiness? Has it worked for you? Do you have other alternatives to boosting your mood when you find yourself in a funk?
For more tools on finding your true happiness, check out Andy Baggott’s recent book Blissology: The Art & Science of Happiness.
Reader Comments
on June 29th, 2011 @ 11:36 am
I work in a corporate office, and to show weakness is like throwing chum to sharks. I fake it while I’m at work (which I already think is full of Stepford wives) and let myself experience my actual emotions when it is safe to do so. Sometimes I can fake it ’till it’s real and it will become real, but sometimes I can’t, and that’s where I sick day comes in handy.
on June 29th, 2011 @ 12:06 pm
Everyone wants to surround themselves in positivity… I have friends and family that find that being around anything negative is somehow a drag and in turn effects their own moods. And maybe it does. But while we live in a society that promotes every kind of pill imaginable to make us happy but just masks the problems most of the time. I am a very moody person, always have been…. doesn’t mean that it is a ‘bad’ mood… just different some of the time. I do mask my moods for other peoples sake only when I find it absolutely necessary but am a true believer of letting it be… learning from what I call my ‘down time’.. embracing it for what it is and finding the reasoning behind it. It is a shame that the ‘faking’ reasoning are for mostly other peoples sakes and not really our own. Too is the shame that we are far removed from a tribal community where we feel less of a family in order to help one another through. I know people that want to claim peace, love and light and turn their backs fast upon any negativity….claiming it too dark for their own sakes. You can’t have light without the dark so embrace it… people are fooling themselves to believe otherwise.
on June 29th, 2011 @ 12:08 pm
Smiling runs in my family. It’s not that we are faking a smile, it’s that smiling comes naturally. I can be really upset about a lot going on in my life or during my day but there is always something to smile about. When you see someone you like, you smile at them. When you want someone to feel welcome, you smile. Smiling isn’t always about the person doing it, sometimes it’s about who is seeing your smile and being effected by it. You don’t have to smile in spite of your circumstances. Smile because you can. Smile because you’re alive. Smile because you woke up this morning and that you’re breathing. Smile because when you stretched this morning it felt good. Smile because the warm water from the shower feels good. There is always something to smile about.
on June 29th, 2011 @ 12:10 pm
All emotions are valid. You shouldn’t ignore any of them. If your sad, cry, it’s a great relief. Then smile when you feel that relief wash over you.
on June 29th, 2011 @ 12:17 pm
I try my best to be in a good mood. There are many times in any given day that I tell myself to think of the positive side, because to every negative there is a positive. Then I try to find humor in the situation and laugh. That usually turns any fake smile I have into a real happy, healthy smile. There are the times when even humor doesn’t help, in those instances I walk away.
on June 29th, 2011 @ 12:42 pm
I am always one to smile, even when I’m in a “bad” mood. I try to be a very private person, but definately wear my heart on my sleeve. Without the privacy of the smile everyone would ask and HAVE to know what’s wrong. I smile in public no matter what. The only thing is that the people who know you best will know by the look in your eyes – NOT in the “smile” on your face how you are really feeling.