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List of Exercises xiii
List of Illustrations xv
Foreword by Tristan Taormino xvii
Introduction 1
DALA 1 How to Use This Book 9
DALA 2 Paradox 27
The power of embracing ambiguity
DALA 3 Sexuality 41
It is uniquely yours, so define it for yourself
DALA 4 Spiritual Sexuality 55
There is no gap to bridge
DALA 5 Pleasure 69
The best healer there is
DALA 6 Desire 81
Use it consciously and grow
DALA 7 Energy 95
The secret language of the universe
DALA 8 Meditation 113
Beyond the cushion
DALA 9 Expansion 129
Tasting the forbidden fruit
DALA 10 Reverence 141
The divine is everywhere
DALA 11 Bliss 163
Let it follow you
DALA 12 Imagination 179
Another name for absolute power
DALA 13 Transformation 193
The magic of creating internal changes
DALA 14 Union 207
Self-knowledge, love, and synergy
Afterword 225
Acknowledgements 229
Appendix: Ananda Nidra 231
Reflection Sources 237
Glossary 239
Bibliography 251
Index 259

Exercises
1. What Is Tantra? . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 39
2. How Do You Define Your Own Sexuality?. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 46
3. Place Yourself on the Kinsey Scale . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 47
4. Fantasies . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 48
5. Your Sexuality Scale . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 49
6. Understanding Attraction . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 51
7. Formative Experiences . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 52
8. Your Spirituality: A Working Definition . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 59
9. Your Pleasure Palette . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 74
10. Qualities of Your Pleasure Palette . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 75
11. Exploring Your Body and Its Responses . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 76
12. What Is Your Sexual Response Palette? . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 77
13. Exploring Desire. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 84
14. Discovering Divinity in Desire . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 85
15. Make a Date . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 87
16. Counting Stars . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 88
17. Awareness of Your Pelvic Floor . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 89
18. Awareness of Your Breath at Climax . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 91
19. Eye-Gazing. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .101
20. Noticing Energetic Flow . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .103
21. Locating Your PC Muscles . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .106
22. Range of Motion . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .106
23. PC Muscles: Putting It All Together . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .108
24. The Secret Language . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .109
25. Rotation of Consciousness. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .118
26. Withdrawal of Consciousness . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .120
27. How Do You Change Your Consciousness? . . . . . . . . . . . . . .121
28. How Else Do You Change Your Consciousness? . . . . . . . . . . .123
29. Changing Your Consciousness—A Closer Look . . . . . . . . . . . .124
30. Fantasy Expansion. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .125
31. Broadening the Fantasy Spectrum for People with Partners . . . . .127
32. Conscious Transgression of Social or Personal Constraints . . . . . .134
33. What Do Liberation and Enlightenment Mean to You? . . . . . . . .137
34. Changing Your Breathing Pattern at Orgasm . . . . . . . . . . . . .138
35. Finding the Divine in Unexpected Places . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .144
36. Cultivating Awe . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .146
37. Worshipping the Genitals in Practice . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .160
38. Practicing Ananda Nidra . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .167
39. Pleasure Palette Expanded . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .170
40. Deepening Pleasure . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .171
41. Expansion/Contraction . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .175
42. Imagination . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .183
43. The Power of Imagination. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .184
44. Imagination--Gender Transformation . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .186
45. Recognizing Yourself as Divine . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .188
46. Embracing the Divine in a Sexual Context . . . . . . . . . . . . . .189
47. What Is Magic?. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .196
48. Your Intention . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .201
49. Practical Sex Magic in Practice . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .204
50. Cultivating Interest in Yourself and Becoming Your Own Lover . . .213
51. Court Yourself Every Day for a Week . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .214
52. Connecting Erotically with Your Internal Feminine and Masculine 222

Illustrations
1. Anahata (heart) chakra mandala . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 12
2. Tibetan Buddhist mantra Om mani padme hum. . . . . . . . . . . . 12
3. Indian temple art from Karnataka State, circa 1600. . . . . . . . . . 15
4. Ardhanarishwara, a hermaphroditic form of Shiva . . . . . . . . . . 16
5. The practice of eye-gazing. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 19
6. Practicing tratak with a flame as a couple. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 22
7. Individual tratak with a flame. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 22
8. Nyasa . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 24
9. Indian temple art from Khajuraho, circa 1000 . . . . . . . . . . . . 32
10. Yantric depiction of the expanding universe . . . . . . . . . . . . . 45
11. Sri Yantra . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 58
12. Perineum . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 90
13. Eye-gazing using a mirror . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .102
14. Partnered eye-gazing . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .102
15. Pubococcygeal (PC) muscles . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .105
16. Yab Yum . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 110
17. Shavasana, the corpse pose . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .119
18. Rotation of consciousness through the body . . . . . . . . . . . . .119
19. Tibetan thanka. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .122
20. Shiva Lingam Puja . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .148
21. Tilak . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .150
22. Fierce Kali . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .199
23. Benevolent Kali . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .215
24. Ardhanarishwara rules the third eye . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .218
25. Anahata Yantra . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .219
26. Masculine and feminine energetic flows . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .220
27. Yin-yang symbol. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .220