The power of sexuality has been recognized in virtually every culture since the beginning of time. Directing that power toward achieving a specific goal is the nature of sex magick. I describe some actual techniques of sex magick in Modern Magick and focus on these techniques in Modern Sex Magick. For another approach I recommend The Complete Magick Curriculum of the Secret Order G.’.B.’.G.’.. There are lots of other books available, too.
Part of the technique of sex magick has to do with time. Generally, an extended period of building sexual energy results in greater magickal energy that can be used to achieve results. I say “generally” because eventually you will reach a level or negative returns. You physically tire, you lose focus, and the effectiveness of the magick falters. It’s important to be sensitive to the flow of energy so you can determine when you have reached the optimum duration of the sex part of the sex magick. A great way to develop this sensitivity is through working with magickal energy during other rituals such as the Lesser Banishing Ritual of the Pentagram.
However, this does mean extended periods of sexual activity. For women this is generally not a challenge, although it may necessitate the use of a high quality sexual lubricant (don’t go cheap with this). Men, however, have a different challenge. According to an article quoting the Journal of Sexual Medicine, the average length of time of actual intercourse before the man finishes is 5.4 minutes. According to Kinsey (in 1948) the average duration of intercourse before the man finishes is only 2 minutes. Whichever figure you wish to accept, these times are far too short for adequate sex magick practices. Men need to develop the skill to last longer.
To resolve these problem outside of sex magick, people have come up with all sorts of techniques. These include such things as masturbating an hour before having intercourse, focusing on something other than your partner and sexuality (such as sports scores) during intercourse, The Masters and Johnson “Squeeze Technique,” and others.
I am not in favor of any delay technique.
Although sex magick can be practiced alone or with more than one partner (see Modern Sex Magick), it is most often practiced with one additional person, often someone with whom you are romantically involved. Do you really want your partner to be thinking about basketball scores while having sex with you? In my opinion that’s just horrible!
I believe the technique for a male extending the duration of sexual intercourse should be based on ejaculatory mastery, not delay.
When performing sex magick with a partner, part of the technique is to thoroughly and completely intertwine your energy with that of your partner. Energy fields increase algorithmically, not mathematically. That means the sum of your combined energy is greater than simply adding your energy fields together. In other words, 1+1=3, not 2. That’s why sex magick can be so powerful. If you focus on delaying rather than giving everything, including all of your energy, to the sex magick rite, the total amount of energy will be decreased, limiting the successful outcome of your ritual. The man shouldn’t hold back to the sexuality and magick, he should surrender to it. You should hold back nothing.
By developing the skill called EM (ejaculatory mastery), a man can choose whether or not to finish his part of the sex magick act. He can fully surrender to his partner while his partner surrenders fully to him and both surrender to the performance of the magick. When a man has developed EM, he can better involve himself in the sexual act and choose when to finish. I endorse two complementary methods for achieving EM.
The first was discovered through Chinese Traditional Medicine. It involves applying pressure on the perineum, an acupressure point known as Circulation/Sex Meridian point 1. Applying pressure on this point is so effective that people have been willing to pay a fortune for its secret, giving it the nickname, the “million dollar point.” I give instructions for working with this point in both Modern Magick and Modern Sex Magick. As a bonus, practice using this point and achieving EM can lead to the development of male multiple orgasm.
The second is being totally present. Focus on your partner NOW. Focus on the ritual NOW. Focus on yourself NOW. Do not think about other things. Do not think about what will happen after you complete the ritual. Don’t think about the past or future, just focus on the present, focus on the NOW.
Developing EM and focusing on the NOW will give incredible results with sex magick. (It may help your love life, too!)