Recently, I received this question:

I work with somebody who is my best friend, but I’d like him to be my boyfriend. If I make a picture of us together, and focus on it, will it manifest itself in this reality? In other words, does the LOA work with people?

The LOA or Law Of Attraction is an occult concept that goes in and out of fashion. It was recently (re)popularized in the book The Secret and the industry that has developed around that superficial treatment of the subject. Here is the response I sent to the questioner:


I know that sounds like a very easy question, but it actually has a LOT of issues to it.

Does the LOA work with people? The simplest answer is “yes.” But it’s not the COMPLETE answer.

The LOA works 24/7, not just when you focus on a picture. If you spend 5 minutes a day focusing on the picture, but then spend hours during the rest of the day thinking about other guys, wondering what’s “wrong” with you because he isn’t your boyfriend, and just focusing on things that are in opposition to your conscious desire, the LOA will bring you exactly what you focus on: not to have him as your boyfriend. Oh, I know your conscious desire is to have him as your boyfriend, but that is not what you’re creating.

Your actions have to be congruent to your desire. Perhaps the best way of expressing that is in the old saying from Aesop to whom so many fables are attributed: “The gods help those who help themselves.” Specifically, merely focusing on a picture will get you nothing other than spending time looking at a photo. You also have to act and DO something. For example, if he likes women who wear certain types of clothes, you have to dress that way. If he likes women who are interested in sports or dancing you need to start being a sports fan or enjoy dancing. Just looking at a picture won’t get you anything. It can help you focus your direction and intent, but then you have to follow through and do something to back up and support, 100%, what you’re doing with the photo.

Finally, and most importantly, let me turn this around. Let’s assume that just looking at a photo actually worked. How would YOU like it if the nastiest, ugliest, most disgusting guy you knew used the technique to force you to become his girlfriend? My guess is you would hate it.

Forcing someone to do something against their will has a common name: black magick. This is negative and hurtful, and as a result of the laws of action and reaction, it will eventually come back on you and make your life miserable. I sincerely doubt that you would want that.

But is there something you can do? Absolutely! The trick is not to try to force another to do something against their will, but to let them know, on a psychic level, that you’re available. For example, concerning the guy you’re interested in: he has a lot of qualities you like including his appearance (height, hair color, weight, eyes, etc.), vocal quality, interests, etc. Take that picture of yourself and make a symbol for each of the qualities you like. For example, perhaps a ruler with a “6” on it for “six feet tall” and a clip of a photo showing the top of a guy’s head that has just the hair color you want. Make this “treasure map” as complete as possible.

Then, spend a few minutes each day looking at the “map” and imagine or visualize a person with all of those qualities being drawn to you–not a specific person, but a person with all of those qualities. Imagine what he’ll feel like, smell like, sound like, etc. Imagine what it will feel like to be with him. Imagine a date with him and what will happen. And most importantly, how will YOU change as a result of being with him?

During the day, think about how you will change. Manifest that in your life. Will you have other interests? Start developing them. Will you wear different clothes? Start wearing them. Will you have a different hair style? Get it cut that way. In other words, become the person who will attract the type of boyfriend you want.

The result will literally send out a magickal or “psychic calling.” If the guy you’re interested in is looking for a girlfriend, he will hear your “call” and be attracted to you. If he isn’t looking for a girlfriend, he won’t be attracted. He retains his free will. However, even if he isn’t interested, other guys who have many or all of those characteristics will heed your call and become attracted to you.

The key is not forcing someone to do something against their will. Rather, it is to change yourself so that a desired person will be attracted to you. This has a sort of “fail-safe” built into it because if you try to change yourself too much you will feel unhappy and uncomfortable. Only change within your limits.

Good luck!

What do you think? Would you have advised her differently? What would you have told her?

Written by Donald Michael Kraig
Donald Michael Kraig graduated from UCLA with a degree in philosophy. He has also studied public speaking and music (traditional and experimental) on the university level. After a decade of personal study and practice, he began ten years of teaching courses in the Southern California area on such ...