My friends Nancy Antenucci and Lunaea Weatherstone wonder about prejudices as a reader and how to overcome them. For instance, Nancy says, “it is really hard for me to read for someone who is having a covert affair.”
Lunaea agrees, saying, “I have that problem sometimes too, especially with women who are making the same dumb choices over and over in their love lives. How to step outside your own values to do a clear reading — or should you?”
I think that this is something that every reader must come to terms with for him or herself. In the all the years Iâ€™ve been reading, my ideas, my philosophy, continually change and evolve.
Although I believe each of us must draw our own boundaries and although I do not believe that my way is any more correct or laudable than anyone elseâ€™s, Iâ€™ll share what my current beliefs are, just for the sake of starting a conversation.
Nancy and Lunaeaâ€™s questions are really two-fold. First, if we have prejudices, should we try to overcome them? Second, if so, then how do we overcome them? Neither question is easy.
What do you believe about your role as a tarot reader? Do you believe that the right people will come to you to get a reading that only you can give? If so, are your prejudices part of that unique reading that they would get from you? Then why would you want to get rid of them? You wouldnâ€™t! So donâ€™t.
As for me, I believe that my role as a reader is to be an oracle. The querent is coming to me in order to hear the guidance of the divine. My cards and I are only a channel. So I try to keep the channel as clear and open as possible. I am not there to be their judge or tell them what to do. I am there to convey a message from the divine, which may or may not correspond to what I personally would advise.
I have been in covert relationships–both sides, the cheating and being cheated on. Mostly, people who are involved in affairs in any capacity are hurting. And if they are coming to the divine for guidance, then the divine, who I believe is a loving entity, will give it to them without my input or opinion or judgement.
My scandalous past has helped me develop some level of compassion. And I try to not be judgmental (the staying in a stupid relationship is a harder one for me, although, because Iâ€™ve done that, too!). Everyoneâ€™s journey is their own. Nancy, you told me once, hold your own truth close and let others have theirs.
So I try to maintain an open channel and part of that is that my own life be stable. Since my life has been more settled, I know I am a better readerâ€”more grounded and more focused.
Everything is connected. My idea of my role as a reader is tied to my particular journey in this lifetime and my own spiritual development. So my role as a reader will likely be different from someone else’s role as a reader. The wonderful, beautiful thing about all this diversity and chaos is that someone it all manages to come together just as it should.
The question: should I overcome my prejudices isnâ€™t that hard after all. Just think about what you believe your role as a reader is and how much of â€śyouâ€ť plays a part and you will have your answer. And I think that answer will render the second one moot. For if you and your ideals/opinions/prejudices are part of what you give to a querent, then youâ€™re good to go. If you think you are a channel for guidance that comes from outside yourself, then, again, there is no â€śtrying to overcomeâ€ť anything, because your opinions arenâ€™t part of the deal.
I should note that I have not, to my knowledge, had to read for any circumstances involving abuse or criminal activity. It is all well and good to say â€śoh, I wouldnâ€™t have a problem reading for anything.â€ť But until I am tested in all areas, well, who knows how Iâ€™d behave if and when something like that actually happens.
Well, that was a lot of TMI. What do you all think?