It's a strange experience for a writer to be peeking into other people's bedrooms. Not literally, of course, but through the case studies I choose to include in my books. Tackling the topics of love, lust, relationships, and fertility this time around meant that I needed to cajole those brave souls who were willing to be my magical guinea pigs. Asking a couple to trust you to improve their sex life, or to trust you at the worrisome time prior to undergoing IVF, is a big request. Thankfully, I was able to convince a number of wonderful people across three continents to do just that.
When I first decided to write about the Witch's Way as it applies to these areas, it was important to me to ensure that at its heart it had integrity, truth, and a distinctly modern take. It is a recurring theme in my work to take the ancient wisdom of Witches and apply it to modern problems. Witches have always been good in the bedroom! We are able to assist when it comes to building a solid personal foundation, attracting the right partner, keeping the lust alive, and even when it comes to cleanly breaking the bonds when a relationship goes sour. We know, through our vast herbal and nature-based wisdom, which plant to use to balance hormones and which ones get the juices flowing. Our whole spiritual practice is based around creation and pleasure (which is in contrast to many other mainstream religions), and so Witches, I believe, are in a prime position to influence matters of the heart and body in significant ways.
I didn't want Witch in the Bedroom to be "just another spell book." My intention wasn't to instruct anyone on how to turn their boyfriend into a frog or show how to curse that nasty ex. Rather, I wanted it to demonstrate how—through the Witch's Way—the reader can attract and keep an ideal partner, build a greater connection with each other, ramp up their sensual pleasure, and even conceive more easily, if that's their desire. I purposely delve into the nitty-gritty issues, such as co-dependence and sexual disassociation, because they are such common complaints in today's world.
I am often asked by budding writers how to construct a book of this complexity. I always advise them to set a firm skeleton and then to write about whatever excites them. With both Witch in the Bedroom and Witch in the Boardroom, it was difficult to write in an orderly, timely fashion, as each case study really matured within its own time frame. So, in a way, putting a book together is almost like constructing a jigsaw puzzle—piece by piece, it forms a whole that is (hopefully) pretty much what you have planned and envisaged.
The writing process for me is both practical and deeply spiritual. When I am writing the various rituals and spells in particular, I definitely lose track of time and enter a state of deep flow. It is at these times that I am very much aware of being connected to the Goddess, and that it is certainly a co-creative process. After the ritual is recorded, I will then normally take a break, take a walk or do something a little different to ground myself, and will then be able to take a second look with a more "practical" perspective.
This book has certainly been a personal journey, and an inspiring one. Through the people I have worked with, and through the Goddess's guidance, I have learned much. I hope to pass this information on to those who may find value in it. I know that my relationship with my Self, and certainly with my partner, has been elevated to another level through the process of writing this book.
Stacey Demarco is an internationally respected spiritual Pagan practitioner, Witch, author, and activist who hails from Sydney, Australia. Her passion is to make practical magic accessible to everyone and to reconnect people ...