Readers, please enjoy this guest blog post by Leta Herman and Jaye McElroy, authors of the new Energy of Love.
Dating woes 101: ever wonder why you keep dating the same person over and over again? Some think we are creatures of habitâ€”in this case, maybe even bad habits. On one level each new relationship seems great. On another level, it always ends in disaster. There are many stories on this topic. This is nothing new here â€¦ right? Well, actually â€¦ we have a whole new take on the age-old story of love and how to find it!
Why, why, and why?
Back to the dating woesâ€¦ Why does it feel like your dating choices are always slim to none? Why does it seem like youâ€™re always attracted to the same kind of person? Why does this type of person seem to always disappoint, reject, or hurt you every time? Itâ€™s probably because youâ€™re going after the same energetic type of person. They may look different, but theyâ€™re very similar energetically.
We are here to tell you that you donâ€™t have to do it like this anymore. You can stop asking yourself that big why-didnâ€™t-it-work-this-time question and blaming your ex-lovers for the outcome. Itâ€™s time to learn how to identify the energetic type of your potential lovers so you can stop repeating your old mistakes. The ancient Chinese philosophers described energy according to the Five Elements: Wood, Fire, Earth, Metal, and Water. You can learn how to identify the Elemental Energy type of your past and potential future lovers in our new book, The Energy of Love.
What is your perfect loverâ€™s energy type?
Itâ€™s time for some honesty here. What do you really want in love? Do you want someone who romantically sweeps you off your feet, or someone who supports, nurtures, and cares for you? Maybe something completely different? Think about this exact time in your life, right here, right now. Perhaps you enjoyed a certain kind of person when you were younger, but your life situations and your preferences in love may have changed. Finding the perfect lover actually starts with you.
Looking Back to Move Forward
Letâ€™s travel back in time and look at your past romances. By seeing what didnâ€™t work for you, you can start to hone in on a new love that really fits you.
- Was it Wood? If you have always dated the charismatic, go-getter kind of person who makes all the plans, buys dinner, and takes charge in bed, you may have had difficulty keeping such a person around. Wood gets bored easily in every aspect of life, so you really have to be fully engaged with your relationship to keep your Wood lover happy. If Wood hasnâ€™t been working for you, then maybe itâ€™s time to try a more Fire-y lover?
- Was it Fire? Did you always go after the happy, fun-loving, passionate lovers? Theyâ€™re always positive and smiling, and very charming, too. They love to make you feel good, but can sometimes seem a little self-centered. One moment they can be very romantic, but the next they are distracted and not even paying attention to you. If the Fire passion and love of life isnâ€™t enough and youâ€™re ready for more grounded and steady love, then perhaps youâ€™re ready for Earth next!
- Was it Earth? Do you keep falling in love with someone who takes care of you? Perhaps you didnâ€™t have quite enough love growing up, and you just like having all that good-caring-love centered on you. Itâ€™s great when itâ€™s good. But itâ€™s not so great when that Earth person is mad at you, always trying to get you to clean up and do stuff around the house. Not to mention, you have to be willing to express your emotions frequently when youâ€™re earthbound. If you canâ€™t handle all the sharing and talking involved in an Earth romance, then why not look at a Metal, who will love you in a quiet and sensitive way?
- Was it Metal? Are you always attracted to that mysterious person sitting in the back corner with the alluring eyes and soft voice? Do you find it a challenge to draw out that quiet person and get them to talk? Do you like the person who is always trying to be gallant and romantic? Then youâ€™ve probably been going for the Metal type. If so, has it been difficult getting through to them? Do you love parties and public events, but they wonâ€™t go with you? Maybe itâ€™s time to look at Water person, who loves to experience the world in an extreme way and then chill, chill, chill.
- Was it Water? Were your past lovers all very spontaneous, quirky, or silly? Then you might have had a yen for Water lovers. They make you laugh and love to hang out. But when push comes to shove, you just canâ€™t figure them out. Good luck with that. They arenâ€™t “figure-out-able.” They can also be hard to connect to heart-to-heart or even mind-to-mind. They just donâ€™t care about all the emotional stuff, which is fine with many, not so fine with others. They also tend to meander through life, experiencing whatever comes. If you need a little more direction and goals to achieve, you might want to experience a Wood love.
No matter what you are looking for in a lover, if you want to learn more about loveâ€¦ wanting it, finding it, or keeping itâ€¦ you can start with The Energy of Love.
Our thanks to Leta and Jaye for their guest post! For more from Leta Hermand and Jaye McElroy, read their article “Which Element Are You? Discovering the Five Elements to Find, Make, and Keep Lasting Love.”