Keep “Telling” Secrets

Recently when I was giving a talk to some teens at a residential girls’ school where I’ve been mentoring, we got onto the topic of secrets — how we all seem to have them, how it’s sometimes hard to keep them (especially when the secret involves other people), and how no matter how much we try to tell ourselves otherwise, the fact that we’re keeping them (or at least trying to) shows how much power they hold; how fearful we are that their information might leak out.

This whole conversation started because they were asking me about Silver is for Secrets, my latest sequel. Having read the first two books, Blue is for Nightmares and White is for Magic, the girls were trying to figure out the secret the title was referring to. Maybe Stacey is cheating on Jacob with Chad. Maybe her premonitions tell her that, this time, instead of stopping the danger, she’ll actually be the one causing it. Maybe Amber secretly thinks Stacey’s magic is pointless; maybe she plans to test its powers. Maybe Drea is secretly in love with Jacob.

We shared ideas along these lines for a while before the conversation began to darken. The girls wanted to know if I thought it was okay to have secrets, if I think it’s normal. The latter question was much easier to answer. Keeping secrets, I believe, is completely normal. As a teen, I had a hundred of them — who I was crushing on, how much I weighed, how I truly did on a test or why I really broke up with my first boyfriend (for the record it was because of his sloppy dog kisses).

But, the other question, whether I thought it was okay to keep secrets, was much harder to answer, especially after writing Silver is for Secrets and really analyzing the subject. It was no secret that all the girls in front of me were harboring huge hush-hushes. And so I gave them the best answer I could. I told them that in my opinion some secrets are okay to keep while others are not. Maybe it wasn’t the most articulate or profound of responses, but I tried to explain the difference, discussing my idea of platonic secrets versus ones that involve (or have the potential to involve) pain, danger or harm. I pushed my point with some of the secrets that are kept in my books — Stacey’s crush on her best friend’s boyfriend in Blue is for Nightmares (probably an okay secret to keep); her very embarrassing side effects caused by her premonitions (also okay); and the secret she’d been keeping about Maura, how she ignored her premonitions involving Maura and they came true (probably not okay since it caused Stacey pain in the form of years of guilt and self-blame).

Stacey has learned that the truth is sometimes hard to deal with, but that harboring secrets is not always the right answer. She even tells Jacob in Silver is for Secrets that “keeping secrets doesn’t bring people closer … it only tears them apart.” And, while this isn’t the case in every situation, it’s certainly a point of contention in Silver is for Secrets.

All of this brought us back to our discussion of the book. I told the girls that Silver is for Secrets is chock-full of secrets and that it’s probably the most powerful story out of the three books so far. Naturally, they wanted to know why. I told them it’s because the story shows what can happen when certain secrets are kept.

For as long as I can remember, people have come to me with their dirty little demons. Some of their stories have made me laugh, while others have torn me up, sticking with me for weeks, months and sometimes years later. I wrote Silver is for Secrets not only because I wanted to continue the story, but because I wanted to write a novel that explores the different types of secrets, the power that secrets can hold and the consequence of choosing to keep some things hush-hush. I hope that is precisely what I’ve done.

So, is it true that secrets tear Stacey and Jacob apart in Silver is for Secrets? For now, that’s a secret I’m just going to have to keep.