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Interview with Ronelle Coburn

An Interview with Ronelle Coburn

1. In your book, Destiny at Your Fingertips, you discuss the concept of a “Life Purpose.”  How exactly would you define Life Purpose?

Your destiny—or Life Purpose—is the state of consciousness you want to live in where life tastes absolutely delicious to you.  It’s your personal direct point of meaning, your Zone of Fulfillment.  When you inhabit your Life Purpose you know who you are and what you need to do to feed your deep sense of being your true self.  It isn’t any specific action you perform or a goal to achieve.  It isn’t your values or your principles or your morals.  It isn’t even necessarily what you’re “good” at and it isn’t your skills, your aptitudes, or your career.  Your destiny is your core unchanging sense of who you are that wants to be expressed through every decision you make and action you take.  It’s your transpersonal or core or soul psychology, the part of you that goes beyond your unique bundle of personality characteristics.  It’s the continual process of your awareness unfolding over time.  It’s your sense of “I am X and I know what I want and need to do about it.”  I often find myself saying that it’s like the big shoes you were born to wear, that you are continuously growing into and figuring out how to walk around in.  And for most of us, those shoes are often bigger than we imagine for ourselves.  We start off feeling like they’re too big, like those gigantic shiny red shoes clowns wear. And we stumble around learning how to walk in them until we get comfortable with who we are, that these are our shoes whether we think we like them or not.  And that it’s okay, actually necessary, to stumble on the way to walking, then striding, then dancing with grace and acceptance and sheer joy in them.  When you are on-purpose you wake up in the morning itching to get up, get going, and live your life.  You feel like every day is exceedingly precious and exciting with challenges and you just can’t wait to get up and live it, just really eat it up.

2. How is fingerprint analysis different from traditional predictive palmistry?

Fingerprint analysis is extremely different from predictive palmistry.  First off, traditional palmistry doesn’t take the fingerprints, as an integrated system, into account.  Second, you’ve got fingerprints, and the destiny they denote, but that doesn’t mean you’re automatically going to live out that purpose in the sense that you are fated to do so.  Traditional palmistry focuses on making predictions, which is very disempowering when you stop and think about it, because it implies that you can’t change anything for yourself, that you don’t have free will, and you are completely powerless over the course your life takes.  I have had people call me up and tell me that they were terrified for many years because someone made some prediction (that never came to pass) from their hands.  Anyone who really studies hands and does research on the accuracy of predictions made from the hands rapidly finds out that the popular perception of palmistry as any kind of reliable predictive tool is a myth.  If someone makes an accurate prediction about a future event while looking at your hands it’s just that they have an excellent intuition that really doesn’t have much to do with your actual hands.

So, if your hands and fingerprints don’t predict anything, what do they tell you?  What your fingerprints say about you is far more important than any fatalistic prediction could ever be, even if they could be made, because they tell you who you are and who you long to be, they give you a clear and direct picture of your highest actualized self, of your most meaningful life, and they help you understand what you need to do to move towards it.  They are like your specific Instruction Manual for Life and knowing what it says can empower you to take the reins of your own life by helping you see what direction you want to go in.  We each have a destiny, a purpose, but it is up to each of us to get out and use our free will and self-determination to live it.  No one is going to hand your best life to you on a platter, you have to take many repeated actions over time to evolve yourself, your environment, and your very life into the life you most desire to live and were born to live.  In my book, Destiny at Your Fingertips, I talk about the power you have to choose or refuse your Life Purpose, and the consequences of doing each, as well as help you decode your purpose from your own fingerprints so you can learn what your purpose is about and start working consciously with it right NOW so you can move deeply into your best life.

3. How are you able to determine a person’s Life Purpose by simply looking at their fingertips?

Your fingertips hold your fingerprints, which are the map of your soul psychology or Life Purpose psychology.  And translating the fingerprints, with this system of fingerprint interpretation developed by Richard Unger, founder of the International Institute of Hand Analysis, is surprisingly easy.  It’s something that anyone with the interest and inclination can learn to do, just like learning a foreign language.  Happily the language of your soul has just four basic “verbs.” There are four basic fingerprint types, called whorls, loops, tented arches, and arches.  Beyond this, subtypes, or combinations of the basic types are possible.  Then you have ten fingers.  That means that there are four basic fingerprints plus ten fingers/fingerprints.  You can have any combination of prints over your ten fingers.  You can have two tented arches and eight loops.  You can have ten whorls.  You can have five arches, three whorls, and two tented arches.  Any combination.  Because of this we have to look at all ten fingerprints in context with one another to determine which ones “rise to the top.”  Each fingerprint type is associated with a certain number of points.  They are ranked.  Out of your ten fingerprints we look for the ones worth the most points out of all the fingerprints you have.  The fingers with the high-ranking prints are your Life Purpose fingers.  Each finger has a meaning so there are ten basic Life Purposes.  You can have one finger as a Life Purpose or two or three or four and so on.  It all depends on what fingerprints you have.  Destiny at Your Fingertips guides you through the five easy steps of identifying and translating your Life Purpose from your fingerprints so finding out your Life Purpose is now a snap.  The answer to the biggest mysteries of your life, “Who am I?” and “Why am I here?” has been with you from five months prior to your own birth, written right on your own body in the form of your fingerprints.  Next you have to choose to do something about it so you can live it.

4. Do you look at the rest of the hands as well?  Do the rest of my hands have anything to say about me?

Absolutely.  We [graduates of the International Institute of Hand Analysis] do look at the rest of the hands for what they have to tell you, which is a ton, but not about predictions, except perhaps in the sense that the way you do things repeatedly—the patterns of your personality—is in your hands and that is highly predictive of what you will tend to keep doing.  But this is quite different than what most people think of when they think about the prediction of events.  The shapes and lines of your hands tell you all about your personality psychology.  These aspects of your hands are a changeable dynamic system that reflects the sum total of your brain’s processing over time.  At a glance, your hands tell you all the things personality inventories and aptitudes assessment tests (like the Myers-Briggs, the Enneagram, the MMPI) can tell you, with no possibility of “cheating” the test or subverting it due to not knowing yourself well or trying to be someone you really aren’t (i.e. who you think your mother or peers or society wants you to be).  Your hands also go further by telling you about your very special areas of giftedness and how they want to be used and expressed in your life, as well as the consequences of ignoring or resisting your gifts.  Remember, because the way you think about things and feel about things can change over time, your hand shape and lines make changes that reflect this.  And, yes, both hands can change, which debunks traditional palmistry’s idea that the left hand is what you’re born with and the right hand is what you’re doing with it.  If this was true your left hand would not change and it does.  Your left hand is your “personal” or inner circle hand, and your right hand is your “public” or out-in-the-world hand.

So, your fingerprints denote your soul psychology and your hand’s shape and lines denote your personality psychology.  These two systems interact and often want different things, a conundrum we call the Delicious Dilemma.  It is at these clashing sparking intersections where the meat of life is lived, for better and worse, and it is up to you, with your free will, to become aware of all these aspects of self, so you can take care of them and harmonize them, and move consistently in the direction of your most fulfilling life.

5. What if I don’t like the Life Purpose spelled out in my fingerprints?

It seems unfortunate, but this happens quite often.  In fact, I was absolutely pissed off at one of my Life Purposes when I found out what was in my fingerprints.  Incensed.  I wanted to say that it was completely wrong.  But even in that moment I knew that it was my own misconceptions about what my purpose meant that was the problem.  The underlying issue was that I didn’t want to take the kind of responsibility necessary to own this piece of my purpose.  For various reasons I thought I was supposed to be someone different. One of my favorite bumper stickers says, “Those who defer their dreams discourage yours.”  The fact that I was so adamant in my dislike of my purpose told me right away that I needed to stop and confront some things in myself, that I was trying to be someone I wasn’t and avoiding who I really was and that this avoidance was making my life miserable.  My experience with working with thousands of people over the last ten years has taught me that we all have resistance to our Life Purposes.  Our first resistance has to do with our life lesson, but beyond that we are afraid to take responsibility for our lives and incredibly afraid to risk failure.  I can hear you asking, “Ronelle, are you saying that I can step into living my Life Purpose and in some way fail at it?”  And my answer to you is yes.  There are no guarantees in life. There is no magical silver bullet that can make your life “happily ever after.”  Most people would rather spend their lives doing something they don’t care about, bored out of their minds or worse, because if you fail at something you don’t care about it doesn’t matter.  It just doesn’t matter…which implies that you’re treating your life as if it doesn’t matter.  But your Life Purpose matters to you.  There are real stakes involved.  There is real risk and the possibility of real return.  At the end of the day you’re either taking on your destiny and the challenges associated with it and reaping the deep sense of fulfillment that comes from being yourself (a real reward in its own right), or you’re living out the much nastier consequences of avoiding yourself and your true life.

The other huge reason people don’t like their Life Purpose is because they know that their lives will have to change to step into it and humans are fundamentally resistant to change or anything that seems to threaten their security—even if they are paying a very high price, the price of their very souls—for that security.  It’s natural that we all resist change, yet things change constantly, whether we want them to or not.  Again, it’s so much better to take on change in your life than be driven by it.  Our true selves and the Universe constantly seem to collude to push and shove us along until our life situations—our inner world or our outer world or both—become intolerable.  Do you want to harden against this and shut down further and further until you’re one of the living dead?  Or do you want to take it on and get the right kind of changes going in your life, the changes that are often painful, but liberate you to live the precious life you are here to live?

6. What if I think I already know my Life Purpose?

When my business partner and I are at conferences, we get quite a few people who say, “Oh, I already know my Life Purpose.” And some very few of them are right on-purpose.  But if I’m very blunt, at the risk of offending some people, when we ask most of them what their purpose is their answer is something so vague that it clearly isn’t their Life Purpose, but is one of what we call the “Life Purpose imposters.”  These are things such as a statement of values or goals or morals or principles.  “Promoting peace in the world.” “Helping everyone I meet.”  Loving God or planet Earth or being a good person.  These are all wonderful important things, but they aren’t a specific destiny or Life Purpose.  If loving God is everyone’s purpose then everyone who subscribes to a particular religion with this belief has the exact same purpose, and this doesn’t make any sense.  Don’t get me wrong here—your beliefs and principles and values are all extremely important.  It’s just that, because you can change these things, they aren’t your enduring core purpose. When what you think is your purpose is something it seems would be a good idea for everyone in the world to take on, then you can bet that it isn’t your specific destiny.

For those who do actually know their purpose (due to self-awareness work and external work they’ve done), there’s always taking it to the next level.  It has surprised me to find that those who are already solidly on purpose, and know the most about themselves, are the ones who get the very most out of a consultation.  They are acutely aware that you can never know enough about your purpose, can never hear about it enough or too many times, because it is a dynamic work in progress with a lot series of ongoing challenges to be met.  Because Life Purpose is a process of the evolvement of your consciousness, it’s like getting yourself onto your own personal cosmic staircase and stepping up the stairs (in those big clown shoes) in every area of your life for your entire life.  I so thoroughly enjoy helping those who are on-purpose take a look at how to take themselves up another step.  Sometimes a client is doing a part of their purpose, but perhaps missing out on another component of it.  Other times the session is about sheer expansion.  I had a client whose hands looked great and on-purpose, and she was.  Her purpose is Inspirational Communications, and she is a public speaker with an average audience size of 3,000 people!  And yet, her hands were asking, “How are we gonna make it bigger?”  I posed this question at the opening of the session, when I had no idea what she was up to, and she laughed with delighted recognition.  I then went on to talk about expansion of the audience for her message.  How was she going to go about reaching more people?  At this point she told me about her work and I asked if she’s doing anything to reach the people who don’t end-up in the room with her, what about the rest of us? How about a book maybe?  Turns out she already sells recordings of her lectures and knew that she needed to write a book, but had some fears that had to do with not being able to control what people might think about her if they aren’t in the room with her personally.  This is a concern about being rejected that we call “Tomato Fear” (in the old days if you did your thing on-stage and the audience didn’t like you they threw rotten tomatoes at you).  She loved getting confirmation of her suspected next steps of growth and deeply appreciated the acknowledgement that her fears of rejection were natural, were just trying to protect her, were actually telling her that she was pointed in the right direction, and just needed to be taken on and worked with nonetheless.  She loved the permission she got to be herself and accept herself as-is so she can work with herself with compassion and kindness and some real tough love.

7. Do I have to do anything about my Life Purpose?  What happens if I don’t do anything about it?

Absolutely not. There is no one holding a gun to your head, no one who can make you do your purpose, no one who will judge you for it, or make you account for it; your life will go on.  You are as free as a bird to squander your gifts, and to live an empty life—whether you’re distracted or depressed or just “going with the flow.”

Yet I would pose a question to you: if living your Life Purpose is what makes your life rich and exciting and meaningful and satisfying and full, why wouldn’t you do it?  Our lives are short, and for some of us much shorter than expected.  Why would you choose to sleepwalk through your life?  Why would you really choose to sell out to security instead of living from the true security of being who you are?  Why not entertain the possibility of marrying meaning and money together in whatever form is spelled out by your fingerprints?  If you had the car of your dreams parked in your driveway but didn’t want to make the effort to learn how to drive it, this is very sad indeed.  How devastating is it to be an Artist who never paints?  A Master of Love who lives alone? A frustrated Healer giving unsolicited, unwanted advice to everyone you know?  A Master of Results who is completely dependent on what others dole out or not?  An Innovator who bends themselves out of shape to please others?  Why would you want to live with the consequences of not living your purpose instead of swimming in the deep meaning of shaping your own life and knowing your unique place in the world and what you have to offer in your time here on planet earth?  If you’re ready to know your destiny, it’s just waiting for you.  It’s always knocking on your door with every decision you’re presented with and every action you take.  Why not start by finding out what it is, then working in your daily life with it and seeing where it takes you?  Your life may just turn out to be the one you’ve always wanted to live.

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