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Sex Magic for Beginners

This article was written by Skye Alexander
posted under Sex Magic

Most of us want to lead better lives. We want to be happier, healthier, wealthier, and so on. We’d like to take control of what happens to us, instead of being at the mercy of chance, fate, or the agendas of other people. That’s why most magicians do spells in the first place; magic enables you to harness the raw energy in the universe and direct it to produce the outcomes you choose. Magic lets you attract what you desire in life and protect yourself from pitfalls. Although you can do this with any type of magic, sex magic is an especially effective way to accomplish your objectives.

What Is Sex Magic?
First, let me explain what sex magic isn’t. Sex magic isn’t some sort of kinky parlor game. It’s not intended to jazz up a lackluster love life or increase your chances of getting laid on Saturday night. The main purpose isn’t even sexual enjoyment or procreation. Having said all that, however, it’s quite likely your intimate relationships and sexual satisfaction will improve as a result of practicing sex magic––that just isn't the primary objective.

Sex magic is a means to an end, a way to mobilize the amazing creative power of sexual energy to generate a desired result. Basically, you do sex magic for the same reasons you would do any other type of magic: to cause something you desire to happen. Your goal might be to promote healing or attract money or achieve spiritual enlightenment. When you add sexual energy, you increase the intensity of a magic spell. It’s like adding more octane to gasoline.

Uniting Mind and Body
Sexual energy is life energy. Its nature is to create. In the most rudimentary sense, the union of male and female spawns a physical child. However, every sexual act creates a "child" on the spiritual plane, regardless of whether a flesh-and-blood baby is produced on the material plane. During sex, you plant "seeds" with your thoughts into the fertile "womb" of the cosmic matrix. You impregnate the matrix with what’s known as a magical child.

Your thoughts and emotions are the hammer and chisel with which you carve your reality from the raw material of the universe: energy. Twenty-five hundred years ago, the Buddha said, "With our thoughts, we make the world." In essence, what this means is that everything we experience in our sensory world evolves from our individual and collective thoughts. To successfully perform magic of any kind you need a focused mind––and sex really focuses your attention. "Orgasm, by its very nature, requires your total participation," writes Margo Anand in The Art of Sexual Ecstasy. During orgasm you’re utterly present, completely in the moment. And when you do sex magic you kick things up a notch. You throw another log on the fire and fan the flames. Sex magic propels you into a mind-body-spirit experience. Your mind creates an intention, your body provides the fuel, and Spirit guides the result.

Can Anyone Do Sex Magic?
Yes, absolutely. If you already follow a magical path or belief system, great––you can incorporate sex magic into it. The guidelines for sex magic are essentially the same as for any other type of magic, except that when you do sex magic you’re driving a Porsche instead of a Honda Civic.

What if you don’t subscribe to any particular school of thought? No problem. Anyone, regardless of ideology, can do sex magic. Sexual energy is neutral. It has no conscience or inherent moral quality attached to it, just as fire is neither good nor bad.

Do you need a partner of the opposite gender to do sex magic? Not in most cases. Sex magic relies on blending male and female energies. When we speak of male and female energies, however, we’re not referring to men and women. Everyone, regardless of gender, has both masculine and feminine energies. Same-sex couples can do sex magic as successfully as opposite-sex couples. You don’t even need a physical partner to perform sex magic. Solo sex (i.e. masturbation) can be very effective––in fact, it may be a good idea to practice alone for a while before you start working with a magical partner. You can even call upon a deity to participate with you, but that subject requires more discussion than we have room for in this article (see my book Sex Magic for Beginners for details).

Creating a Telos
Before engaging in sex, decide on a telos, an objective you intend to bring about. Choose only one objective at a time, so you can direct your undivided attention toward it. When your body’s zinging like a slot machine with a winning combination, it’s hard enough to focus your mind on your intention. This is not the place to multi-task!

If you are working with a partner––or a group of people––discuss your telos in advance, and make sure everybody agrees on the result you intend to generate. If each of you has a different agenda, the outcome you produce will likely be garbled. Your conflicting intentions might even block or neutralize one another’s––neither of you will get what you want.

Keep it simple. Compose your telos in the form of an affirmation. Your telos should be something you can easily hold in your mind (and perhaps shout out loud) when you’re in the throes of ecstasy.

You may want to create a picture to represent your telos. Images can generate results even more effectively than words. That’s because your subconscious understands the language of symbols, myth, and metaphor better than English, Spanish, French, or any other spoken tongue. If you have an artistic flair, consider designing a painting or collage that depicts your intention. Tarot cards are good visual tools to use in sex magic. The rich colors, imagery, and other symbolism on tarot cards speak directly to your subconscious. Choose a card that symbolizes your telos and look at it while you engage in sex to remind you of your objective. Runes can work, too. Familiarize yourself with their meanings and pick one that relates to your intention––you can even finger paint the rune on your partner’s body.

In sex magic, images offer yet another advantage. You can look at a picture and subconsciously grasp its meaning, even if you’re too blissed out to remember your own name.

The Nitty-Gritty
As you’ve probably guessed, there’s more to sex magic than making mad, passionate love day and night. If that were all you had to do, no one would be poor or sick or unhappy. Sex magic is both an art and a skill. Like any art or skill, it requires learning certain techniques, then practicing those techniques to build up your magical muscles.

The first step is to slow down. Many of us tend to rush toward the finish line, rather than pacing ourselves during sex. But drawing out the experience and allowing your sexual energy to build gradually enhances your magical power. Luxuriate in your sensuality. Let your excitement slowly increase until you feel almost ready to come. Then back off. Do some deep breathing. Shift from genital stimulation to stroking other parts of the body: arms, back, feet, and so on. When the immediacy has subsided, gradually elevate the level of excitation until, once again, you almost reach the point of no return. Ease off again. Continue in the manner for as long as you like, slowly and steadily building intensity. With practice, you’ll learn to "stay on the edge" for an extended period of time.

During this period of high arousal, keep your telos in mind. The more intense your feelings, the faster you can attract what you desire, and in this near-orgasmic state your magnetic power is tremendous. You don’t have to focus keenly on your objective all the time, but remain aware of your purpose for engaging in this sexual ritual. As you raise energy and cycle it through your body, mentally attach your intention to that energy.

When you’re finally ready to release the energy you’ve built up, hold your telos clearly in your mind and feel the pleasure of having your desired outcome manifested in your life. Then let your orgasm wash through you. As it does, it sweeps your intention before it, like a wave pushing a boat along on its crest. The momentum you’ve generated carries your telos out into the universe, where it lodges in the fertile womb of the matrix and creates a magical child.

After orgasm, relax and stop thinking about your telos. Enjoy the calm after the tempest. Allow the universe to do its part now.

Just Do It
Now that you know the basics, I encourage you to try sex magic. Sexual energy is natural, readily accessible, and incredibly powerful. It’s a key to health, wealth, and happiness––literally at your fingertips. We’ve just scratched the surface here, and I recommend that you some books on the subject. I hope you’ll read mine, of course, but I also highly recommend Donald Michael Kraig’s Modern Sex Magick. You’ll find a lot of information online, too. One of my favorite sites is Rob’s Magick Blog, http://robjo.wordpress.com.

Sex magic has been with us always, and I suspect it always will be. During the last few decades the practice has gained popularity in the West, perhaps in reaction to the demystification and exploitation of sex in modern society. Through sex magic we become reacquainted with the sacredness and primal power of sex. Suddenly, we find ourselves up close and personal with the "real deal," and it truly does rock our world. You can have and be anything you choose. At this very moment, you possess the ability to make your life whatever you want it to be––not through working hard and struggling, but through expressing the joy and pleasure that are your birthright.

Skye AlexanderSkye Alexander
Skye Alexander divides her time between Texas and the Boston area. She is an award-winning author of over two dozen books on tarot, feng shui, magic, and other subjects. A magical practitioner for over twenty years, she is also an interior decorator and...  Read more

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