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The Llewellyn Encyclopedia

Subject: Relationships and Romance

Analingus

Using the mouth and, especially, the tongue to stimulate the anus. 




Aphrodisiac

Something that excites or produces sexual arousal. 




Authentic Love

A state of pure love, sometimes call real love.




BDSM

An acronym for a variety of sexual practices that include: bondage, discipline, dominance, submission, sadism, and masochism. 




Cinderella Complex

First described by Colette Dowling in her book by this name, it presents the thesis that some women have a fear of independence and an unconscious desire for someone (a metaphorical "Prince Charming") to take care of them. Dowling claims that this "complex" becomes increasingly obvious as women age and is a major cause of women choosing to stay in a dysfunctional or even abusive relationship.




Masochism

Finding pleasure, especially sexual pleasure, in experiences that are commonly deemed to be painful or humiliating. 




Patriarchal

A term that refers to a society ruled by men and that gives women little or no power. See matriarchal




Patrilineal

A system where descent is traced through the father. Children take the father’s name. European and American societies are patrilineal. See matrilineal




Physical Mediumship

The manifestation of physical phenomena such as table tipping, apports, the appearance of unusual lights, etc., usually during a séance. Usually it requires a state of trance on the part of the medium.




Polyamory

Also spelled polyamoury, the belief the humans are not monogamous by nature and can love more than one person simultaneously. Although based on love, communication, and honesty, some people use the term to falsely mean cheating on a partner, having many sexual partners, etc. Some Pagans follow a polyamorous lifestyle, living in groups similar to the communes of half a century ago. Polyamory requires a great deal of personal security and a strong sense-of-self in order to limit negative influences.




Reverse Cowgirl

A sexual position in which the person being penetrated is on top of, astride, and facing the feet of the person on the bottom. 




Sadism

From the Marquis de Sade. Deriving pleasure, especially sexual pleasure, from inflicting physical or emotional pain on others. 




Sex
While sexual activities are most commonly practiced for pleasure and procreation, there has been a secret knowledge held among various groups that that the energy raised during sexual activity, as well as the mental state that occurs during prolonged sexual activity, can be united to create remarkable changes in our spiritual selves and physical environment. The techniques to do this are commonly called Sex Magick.

Many thousands of years ago, the philosophy and techniques that would become known as Tantra developed in northern India. Over the centuries, it developed into a complete spiritual system, involving worship of deities, rituals, magick, healing, and virtually every aspect of life. This includes an in-depth study of the non-physical aspects of the body (such as the aura, chakras, and energy paths) and sexuality, especially the use of sex in a way that can lead to spiritual enlightenment. In the West, the Tantric sexual techniques (often confused with the complete spiritual system that is Tantra) have been popularized and described by numerous writers and authors.

Over the past century, there has been an increasing link between Western Sex Magic and Tantric sexual techniques such that some people equate them.


Soul Mate
The ultimate life partner for any person. In some traditions, the concept is based on the belief that in past lives, perhaps several past lives, your souls were intertwined, and that link remains to this day. Other traditions contend that you will have different soul mates at different times, so there may be several of them. In the Kabalistic tradition, soul mates are “sparks,” or two parts of the same soul. As you go through spiritual evolution, you eventually find your complementary spark and your soul becomes whole.


Soulmate

See: soul mate.




Spirit Lover
  1. A non-physical entity that becomes a romantic interest for a man or woman.
  2. A non-physical partner used by a magician during a sex magic ritual.
  3. A non-physical entity such as an astral body or ghost who remains near a living person due to close (some would say too close) emotional ties, real or imagined, to that person. 



Tantra
While sexual activities are most commonly practiced for pleasure and procreation, there has been a secret knowledge held among various groups that that the energy raised during sexual activity, as well as the mental state that occurs during prolonged sexual activity, can be united to create remarkable changes in our spiritual selves and physical environment. The techniques to do this are commonly called Sex Magick.

Many thousands of years ago, the philosophy and techniques that would become known as Tantra developed in northern India. Over the centuries, it developed into a complete spiritual system, involving worship of deities, rituals, magick, healing, and virtually every aspect of life. This includes an in-depth study of the non-physical aspects of the body (such as the aura, chakras, and energy paths) and sexuality, especially the use of sex in a way that can lead to spiritual enlightenment. In the West, the Tantric sexual techniques (often confused with the complete spiritual system that is Tantra) have been popularized and described by numerous writers and authors.

Over the past century, there has been an increasing link between Western Sex Magic and Tantric sexual techniques such that some people equate them.


Tantra

Sanskrit for "System" or "Doctrine." Tantra is a very sophisticated and extensive system of ancient Indian Occultism, possibly developed from the traditional Dravidian inhabitants, and from which many Eastern and Western practices are derived. It may also have been developed by the Aryan Warrior Class in reaction to Brahmanical control. It is also proclaimed to be the "revealed teaching" for this (the Kali Yuga) Age. Three distinct types of Tantra exist: Hindu Tantra, Buddhist Tantra, and Jain Tantra. Hindu Tantra also subdivides into North Indian and South Indian.

Tantra has become most identified with:

1) the Chakra system,
2) Kundalini, and
3) Sexual practices involving
    a) extended intercourse,
    b) complex positions and practices once considered "deviant," such as anal intercourse, oral intercourse, and the
        consumption of an ‘elixir’ compounded of the masculine and feminine fluids sucked from the vagina after
        intercourse and shared by the two lovers, and 
4) Worship of the partners, particularly the female, as the embodiment of Goddess and God.

Other occult principles and practices taken from Tantra include:

1) The Tattvas (the five basic elements and the twenty-five compounds visualized in meditation for psychic effects),
2) Yantras (complex geometric diagrams of energy circuitry visualized in meditation for psychic effects),
3) Mantras (chanting of sacred words and names in meditation for psychic effects),
4) Yoga Nidra (visualizations of psychic energy movements within the body during meditation), and
5) Other esoteric practices.

Suggested Reading:

Mumford: A Chakra & Kundalini Workbook: Psycho-Spiritual Techniques for Health, Rejuvenation, Psychic Powers & Spiritual Realization

Mumford: Yoga Nidra Meditation: Chakra Theory & Visualization (audio CD with instruction booklet)




Thinking Off

Inducing orgasm through mental activity alone. 




Voyeurism

Deriving sexual pleasure from watching people in various stages of undress and/or in sexual activity. 





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