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Spell: Maladay, First holyday of the Aftermath in the Discordian Calendar

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If you are out of sorts today, running late, or feeling moody or clumsy, perhaps you are unwittingly celebrating Maladay, one of the holydays of the religion Discordianism. This belief system honors the goddess Discordia/Eris, known for causing the series of events that led to the siege of Troy. Try this spell to appease the goddess, today and any day discord threatens. Ground and center, and light a gold or yellow candle. Offer blessings to Eris. In a comfortable position, with eyes closed, slow your breathing and think of a happy occasion. Concentrate on that scene just long enough to feel a sense of harmony return. Extinguish the flame and go about your day. Pause every so often and send gratitude to Eris, to keep discord at bay. A golden apple is the symbol of the goddess, so be sure to eat a Golden Delicious apple with a meal or as a snack.
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